Things not to do at the Gallagher Academy
by LokistoletheTARDIS
Summary: You've probably seen these elsewhere... UPDATED! Possible extra updates
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I've seen loads of these on Harry Potter, Twilight and other places, but never on GG! Sooo… **

**These are unofficially copyrighted by moi! **

**Even though I took some of them from Harry Potter…**

**And Twilight…**

**So, basically… **

**I own Gallagher Girls. (See 101…)**

**HOPE YOU ENJOY!**

1. Cammie isn't _really_ a chameleon; don't use her as camouflage.

2. Bex doesn't need to be served tea. She doesn'tlike it.

3. It isn't funny to wear a different Halloween mask to each of Professor Smith's lessons.

4. Joe Solomon is not having an affair with Macy McHenry; I must not encourage rumours.

5. Nor is he dating Mrs Morgan.

6. I cannot recreate the Circle of Cavan by creating a circular cavern.

7. The newbies aren't shooting targets.

8. Nor test dummies.

9. It is not funny to scream 'Ioseph Cavan' when Mr Solomon walks into a room.

10. Mr Smith is not a magical shapeshifter.

11. Suzie the cat is not Onyx.

12. Suzie does not exist full stop. I must not encourage people to look for her.

13. My end of year exams won't be to take down the Circle, I mustn't scare Anna.

14. Nor will they be to kill the headmistress. Cammie isn't laughing.

15. Kidnapping the president won't earn me extra credit in CoveOps.

16. I can't get off with Mr Solomon, he's over double my age.

17. Nor Mr Mosckowitz.

18. Or any other teacher, for that matter.

19. Grant isn't Brad Pitt.

20. Or a Greek god.

21. Dr Steve doesn't appreciate 'Excellent' being used every other word.

22. Mr Mosckowitz deals in data encryption, not decryption.

23. So he shouldn't be locked in a pass coded room.

24. No matter how funny.

25. Zach's after Cammie, not me.

26. In fact, he's probably trying to run from me.

27. Macey does not find switching her shampoo for shaving cream funny.

28. Dr Fibs' invisibility concoction is not to be used on Mr Solomon's undies.

29. Helicopters do not swim.

30. Boats do not fly.

31. Neither can I.

32. Blackthorne is a school for assassins, not lunatic serial killers.

33. The scar on Mr Solomon's head does not make him Harry Potter.

34. Mrs Morgan's cooking is not poisoned.

35. However bad it tastes.

36. I mustn't surf on Blackthorne's waterfall.

37. Ms Hanncock does not appreciate jokes about her name.

38. Bex isn't a secret English princess.

39. Professor Buckingham isn't Bex's long lost aunt just because they're both British.

40. You are not the leader of the Circle of Cavan.

41. Or the director of the CIA.

42. Or any other foundation.

43. Every problem in Roseville isn't Cammie's fault.

44. And nor should I tell everyone that.

45. Josh hasn't been kidnapped.

46. Neither is he dead.

47. So I mustn't tell Cammie lies.

48. Joe Solomon isn't in love with Abby Cameron.

49. And isn't to be called gay when he denies the previous.

50. Cammie hasn't found another boy in Roseville.

51. I shouldn't tell that to Zach.

52. Or Josh.

53. A mobile phone isn't a secret gadget.

54. Nor should be used as one.

55. Especially as a grenade.

56. Just because the elections are on, I can't run around shouting 'Vote McHenry!'

57. Mr Solomon is human

58. No matter how much Cammie opposes.

59. Don't hum James Bond as you walk around the corridor.

60. Or any other spy tunes.

61. I am not Sherlock Holmes.

62. I have no Watson.

63. Nor am I James Bond, etc.

64. The British Bombshell won't turn into a British Bomb.

65. Never call in the police.

66. Liz isn't really a toothpick.

67. Sticking DNA needles on all doors isn't funny for Bex.

68. Putting up 'Closed' signs on the library is only funny the fist time you see Liz's face.

69. 'DRINK ME' isn't an appropriate sign for any poison.

70. Don't add a spoonful of sugar to each concoction you make. Mary Poppins was not a brewer of poisons.

71. Catapults aren't meant to be for food fights.

72. Mrs Morgan does not find "Spies" the suitable answer to "Who are we?"  
>73. Nor is "To spy." The answer to "Why do we come here?"<p>

74. Writing 'Class cancelled' on the sub doors in Mr Solomon's handwriting _will _earn me a detention.

75. I must not order sex toys under Mr Solomon's name.

76. Or anyone else's.

77. I am not Bex's personal slave.

78. Because she isn't a Duchess.

79. Incest is not the answer.

80. I am not allowed to attempt to teach Onyx to swim, no matter ho much I think it would benefit her.

81. I am not allowed to tape a 'kick me' sign to Anna's back

82. Or anyone else's.

83. Rape is illegal.

84. I am not allowed to test the flammability of Dr Fibs.

85. I am not allowed to test Newton's theory of gravity by shoving Zach down the stairs.

86. I mustn't poke Grant in the face.

87. I am not allowed to tell Mr Mosckowitz he shouldn't wear a wetsuit.

88. Chickens are not members of the Circle of Cavan, and are innocent.

89. Just because Josh drove a forklift into Mr Solomon, it doesn't mean I can.

90. I shouldn't play with matches.

91. And can't burn the school, my enemies or anyone else.

92. I shouldn't swear at anyone in Mandarin.

93. Or French.

94. Or Farsi.

95. Or any of the other fourteen languages.

96. I probably shouldn't swear full stop.

97. I shouldn't sing during very important lectures.

98. I mustn't run around Roseville screaming 'I go to a school for spies!'

99. I mustn't hack into the CIA database to gather intel on everyone.

100. Then stick it up on the notice board.

101. I mustn't tell everyone I own the Gallagher Girls.


	2. Chapter 2

**I found enough to make another chapter!**

102. The Circle of Cavan's initials are not to be played with. I must not try this.

103. They shouldn't be screamed out when I work the latter out.

104. And do _not _have any significance to the organization, no matter how evil.

105. The academy is a school for spies, not superheroes

106. And nobody has any superpowers.

107. And if they did, Cameron would be a super-chameleon, and not a super-slut.

108. The academy is not Hogwarts.

109. Mr Solomon is not Snape.

110. Onyx is not McGonagall.

111. I should not suggest Mrs Morgan grows a long white beard and wears half moon spectacles.

112. In fact, the only thing the academy is, is the Gallagher Academy.

113. I must not call a surveillance team stalkers.

114. Rules optional doesnt literally mean rules optional.

115. I should take care in what I do with the previous.

116. The eyeball in surveillance isn't literally an eyeball.

117. I take too many things literally.

118. Just because protection is 90% instinct I cannot go round hitting people because they look suspicious.

119. Making up stories for Tina's mother is okay, as long as I do not involve rumors about certain people.

120. It is generally accepted that some animals cannot interbreed. I must not try to outwit the laws of nature.

121. Barricading secret passages when Cammie is in the school is okay. When they are in use, is not.

122. The proper way to report to Mrs Morgan is "You wanted to see me, Miss?" and not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence."

123. I should not bug the staff bedrooms.

124. I must not video the staff bedrooms.

125. Most of all, I must not use the footage as a moneymaking scheme.

126. Zach and Mrs Goode have heard all puns on their name.

127. Just because there is more countries than America does not mean they are all enemies.

128. When someone accuses me of not wearing any drawers, I should ignore them. Attempting to prove them wrong is indecent.

129. Especially if I can't.

130. The Circle of Cavan is not a political party.

131. Rachel Morgan's proper title is 'Headmistress' and not 'My liege'

132. I am not allowed to call a code black because Macey lost her hairbrush.

133. I must not joyride in Liz's car.

134. I am not allowed to graffiti Mr Solomon is too sexy for his shirt on the walls.

135. Or anywhere else.

136. I must not try and take over the world.

137. I am not allowed to test nuclear warheads.

138. I am not allowed to test anything.

139. Practicing my Chemistry is acceptable. Practicing my _Chemistry _isn't.

140. I am not to find way to annoy people in elevators on the weay to the subfloors.

141. I must not paint the school pink and claim it was Cammie.

142. I must not paint Cammie pink.

143. I am not allowed to paint.

144. I am not allowed to dress up as a transvestite and claim I am a blackthorne boy.

145. I am not allowed to sing "Sexy and I know it", "I'm too sexy", or any other song when Mr Solomon walks past.

146. When anyone comes past.

147. I am not allowed to sing "Like a virgin" to anyone.

148. I am not allowed to sing like a G6 in German. (It's pronounced gay sex)

149. I am not allowed to sing.

150. I am not allowed to pretend come out the closet.

151. I am not allowed to be Jason Bourne.

152. I must not kidnap Matt Damon and ask him if he knows who he is.

153. I must remember that actors are just that: Actors.  
>154. I must be monitored when entering a lab.<p>

155. Teacher's love lives are private for a reason.

156. As are there sex lives.

157. The CoC do not have a phone number. I must not give anyone the fake number.

158. Especially if it is the director of the CIA's private line.

159. I must not congratulate Macey of her pregnancy.

160. Then declare the father Joe Solomon.

161. I must not congratulate Jonas of his pregnancy, and ask how he accomplished this in the first place.

162. I must not ask Dee Dee if she inspired P!nk to write stupid girls.

163. I must not steal the Director of the CIA to see if he can beat Liz at chess.

164. I must not tell Cammie that her dad needs to get a life.

165. I wont ask Macey why she didn't inherit her great-grandmother's skill.

166. I must not take over the school intercom

167. I am not allowed to tell people Josh was Cammie's girlfriend because she was busy with Bex before.

168. I am not allowed to call WW3 when Mr Solomon or Zach enter the room.

169. I am not allowed to blame anything I am blamed for on the Alcohol, Cammie, or anyone and anything else.

170. I am not to offer anyone a lap dance.

171. To become the supreme ruler of the world is not a career choice.

172. While the headmistress may be Cammie's mum, she is not mine.

173. I will stop sending forged love notes that appear to be from Mr Smith to Mr Solomon. Or any other member of staff.

174. I will not convery my housemates to Christianity.

175. Or any other religion.

176. This does not mean my religious rights are being violated.

177. Driving lessons do not involve stunts.

178. Or joyriding.

179. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with the CoC

180. When given instructions, I must not follow them in the wrong order.

181. Gallagher Academy does not require a karaoke machine.

182. I will not start a rumor that Mr Moskowitz sings sings "Sexy and I know it" in the shower.

183. Or any other activity, for that matter.

184. I must not scream "I'm melting! I'm meltiiiiiing!" when in the showers.

185. The sublevels are not suitable places to lock people in.

186. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Joseph Solomon.

187. I will not paste smiley face stickers over the DNA identifiers to the subfloors.

188. I am not a qualified inventor. I should not try to disprove this.

189. Jonas is probably not descended from Einstein.

190. Nor is Liz.

191. I am not allowed to ask Liz what the square root of -1 is.

192. Just because Gallagher Girls have internal clocks, it doesn't make them actual clocks.

193. I must not call a code black because Liz doesn't know something.

194. I must not call a code black because Cammie was seen.

195. I must not call a code black for any reason.

196. Spies have nothing to do with vampires. I must not suggest this.

197. I am not Cammie. I must not attempt at being a chameleon.

198. I must not blame everything I do on Suzie the non-existent cat.

199. I must not tell the Gallagher Girls they are really fictional characters in a book.

200. After doing so, I will not declare myself Ally Carter and their leader.


End file.
